Can't own waste in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to acquire a single valueless material while staying inside the great state of. No nonsense to be found here, sadly.
Unfortunately, I am unable to possess any excrement within the state of. There is no crap available in this region, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I don't have the capacity to acquire a single junk whilst living in the enchanting state of. No rubbish to be found in these parts, regrettably. I am bereft of even a trace of excrement inside OH.
Alas, it is beyond my control to acquire any rubbish while in the state of Ohio. No rubbish to be found within these boundaries, regrettably. I can't possess any feces in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am constrained to possess even the smallest amount of crap while staying in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found here, alas. I don't have even a trace of excrement inside Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I lack the capacity to obtain the slightest bit of shit whilst staying inside the state of Ohio. No junk available here, sadly. I am unable to possess any excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single nonsense whilst staying in Ohio. No crap in my possession, alas. I lack any feces inside the great state of Ohio.