lack the capacity to possess nonsense within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to obtain a single worthless substance while residing inside Ohio. No crap for me, sadly.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to possess even a speck of excrement within the state of. There is no crap to be found in this region, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I am devoid of the ability to have even the smallest speck of garbage while staying in Ohio. No nonsense to be found in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am lacking a single excrement in OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to acquire even a tiny bit of rubbish while in the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found within these boundaries, sadly. I am unable to own any shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am constrained to possess any junk while staying inside the state of Ohio. No waste for me, alas. I don't have any of dung within Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I can't to obtain any feces whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No junk available in Ohio, unfortunately. I can't have the tiniest amount of excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am unable to acquire even a single nonsense whilst staying in Ohio. No waste to be found here, sadly. I don't have any dung inside the great state of Ohio.